The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said “Who owns the big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do, why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead out there!”
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got water for the horse, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
I get no respect, no respect at all…
Last night I went to a steak restaurant and order the filet mignon.
It comes out, I tell the waiter, hey this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it!
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A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, ”All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.” The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers ‘Aleeee ooop’ in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens–the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ”It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, ”ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, ”Nothing is wrong with me–it’s this bloody horse. What is he–deaf or something?” The trainer replies, ”Deaf?? DEAF?? He’s not deaf–he’s BLIND!”
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Must be hot in the summer
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critter superhero has added a photo to the pool:
Hey, GT! The girl's supposed to be riding on YOUR back!
